So this one is really boring. I mean, "Creative New Zealand Strategic
Plan" -- any one of these words would send you to sleep by itself. I
won't be surprised if no-one answers. Here's the link
but don't look. It's boring. It is better that we have an uninformed
and interesting debate. Supposing we did submit something, what should
The obvious and expected tactic would be to notify them of our
unrecognised brilliance and diversity, of the exceptional art
experiences that we offer New Zealand and International Audiences, of
the warm glow they will feel from seeing our well-funded, important,
edgy work rise up on the world stage and represent the wise, culturally
aware, courageous CNZ. But we will be cunning, and carefully frame it
in such a way that we don't look like greedy sycophants. We don't like
money, but we will accept it for the good of the nation. We will also
not mention that they are funding our rivals to make crap, nor that they
are a bunch of conservative retards, nor anything else at all that might
sound disparaging of bureaucrats or strategic plans.
That would be expected, and it would probably be wise. Perhaps
accurate. But it also sets up the temptation to do the opposite, to
scream and yell, and let them know that they have no idea about
anything. They are at best irrelevant, we'd say. They should disband
and give the money back to the paupers who bought lotto tickets.
Then, of course, there's an expanse of middle ground, where we outline
the areas about which they have no clue, and try to tell them how they
could do better. Most likely they would like to. Which brings us back
to: what should they do, actually?
Personally, I have few ideas at the moment. That's mainly because it is
one in the morning, but also because I haven't had much to do with them
for a while. The paperwork is not worth it for the piddly amounts I
apply for: I do better just getting a job for the days that I would
spend writing proposals and aquittals, and I don't get bound up in the
kinds of idiotic commitments I put in funding proposals, nor do I have
to wait at the letterbox to know what I'll be doing over the next six
months. But you lot will have ideas.